Monday Muses: Real Housewives of New Jersey

With temper tantrums as big as their baubles and oversized chandeliers engulfing their necklines, RHONJ definitely makes this week’s Monday Jewelry Muse.

In spite of the massive shade party being thrown at Teresa & Joe Giudices’ sentencing, its the jewels that tell all, and this season they got bigger as with the ratings. Like a good cocktail recipe, lets break down bling on each of the ‘wives.   HouseWives_blog_20141010_b (1) Teresa… (Not to be confused with Theresa Giudice) Teresa Aprea, the perky yet petty, happily married wife of restaurant owner Reno (one of the newer house husbands on the block that looks like a fun sized version of Mr. Clean) is mostly known her statement earrings where the drop just doesn’t stop. One of her noteworthy wardrobe moments was her Valentines day attire where she literally painted the town red in her poppy tube dress paired with piercingly ice white drop earrings. Her voice may be high pitched but her jewelry styling is perfectly proportioned- while she flaunts generously-sized chandeliers twinkling underneath her pin straight mane, Teresa usually accents her look with a colossal cocktail ring and a bare neckline.   HouseWives_blog_20141010_a Nicole… Oh gawd. The jewelry puns don’t stop at Nicole, who puts the garish in glam and the tacky in attitude matched by her statement collars, which are their own season finale and reunion in one. I knew she’d be a hit with her first confessional where she wore a necklace fully loaded in pearly pastel flowers to match her ruffled off-the shoulder blouse. Another notable look was a gold-toned chain link necklace which she wore on a trip to the Florida everglades.   HouseWives_blog_20141010_e Amber… Unabashedly blunt and overly empathetic Amber matches everything down to the molecule. From her teary-eyed confessionals wearing matching red drops, pendants and lipstick to her glam evening get-ups, doubling up on diamonds on both her neck and her dress, Amber gives Heidi Kluma run for her money. HouseWives_blog_20141010_d Dina… Dina’s back (thank god) and so are her shamballa necklaces and Project Ladybug bling. Ms. Manzo’s jewelry can be broken down into two categories, there’s daytime Dina, where she basks in Tibetan beads and Bvlgari leather wristbands and Couture Confessional Dina, where she amps  up the Jersey bling with her mega collars and chin-scraping chandelier earrings in her interviews.   HouseWives_blog_20141010_c Melissa… Oh Mel, you put the posh in passive aggressive and have single handedly redefined the duckface. Melissa Gorga’s jewelry style is quite pared down compared to the rest of her caddy compatriots. Simple diamond drops, and an occasional bib necklace or pendant, finish off her bodycon ensembles. Needless to say, Melissa’s jewel box basics are the least dramatic topic on the entire show.

 

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Teresa… Last but certainly not least, throughout all six seasons Teresa’s look has gone from decadent to (by RHONJ standards) demure. Giudice is rarely seen ravishing in jewels, trading in bejeweled bibs for quiet cross pendants. Appearance is everything and it’s Teresa’s subdued jewels that say the most about her state of affairs. Stay tuned tonight for the Andy Cohen Watch What Happens Live Bravo Interview special with Teresa & Joe Giudice.

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